We feel like worry as a parent is just something we need to get used to dealing with. It can become such an overwhelming practice as a parent to get caught up in continuous worry. We wake with worry about what we need to do for our kids today and we go to sleep with the worry about what we didn’t do right.
When my son first started school it was challenging because I had never encountered this experience before. How will he get along with the other kids, will he behave in class and will he survive the long 6 hour days.? Many times I felt I needed to jump in and fix his social and emotional challenges. This was my job as his mother. However, I realised that jumping in was confusing him more than helping him. In many situations he actually needed to find his own way., not my way. As time past and lots of my energy was expended worrying, I watched my son work through these changes in his life. In most cases he just had to learn through the challenges and changes. I realised I just needed to hold space for my son, to listen, offering him a place to be heard, understood and loved. At times some guidance was needed, but I had to trust his journey.
How can we free ourselves of this persistent worry loop? We don’t necessarily stop our worry thoughts and feelings arising, but we can begin to detach from these thoughts and feelings as a reality and that something needs to be fixed!. Sometimes we do need to take conscious action, but the majority of time there is nothing that really needs to be done.
Many of our arising thoughts and feelings have arisen from experiences we have had in our lives, trauma, challenging experiences, what we have been told is right or from our own internal expectations. We then need to decipher what has come from a place of fear and what is reality. When we can approach any situation in a very loving and open-hearted way, in the present moment, rather than from our worry filters, life can become less complicated.
Can we become curious of these thoughts and feelings as just energy moving through our body. Can we give them curious attention and just be aware that they are there and aware we may have become caught in the worry loop, once again. We can then become more comfortable in their presence. “Here is my worry story arising in me again” and then we can say to ourselves “I am safe”, “I am okay” and “my child is safe and okay”. We may still have that worry feeling, but we may become less reactive and soften to the feeling.
We can stop making choices from this fear/worry and break the worry loop by becoming comfortable, knowing that we are safe in these thoughts and feelings and in most cases, nothing needs to be done.