Who gets caught up in this story? I want to be a perfect parent and raise amazing, kind, intelligent and resilient children. I know I do!! And we all want the best for our children.
However, it is in those moments when I have become aware I’m getting lost in this story, I’m becoming lost in my head and my unrealistic expectations of myself. I’m also in “do” mode, possibly stressed, worried, trying to find answers and busy trying to fulfill this story. I have shifted into thinking or my head space and further away from my heart space (which is ultimately presence).
When we are in our head space we find ourselves distracted, busy, anxious, stressed and disconnected, especially from our children. We are working from a place of fear and lack, “Im not doing a good job”, “I’m messing my kids up” and “I’m not enough”. This fear or lack can also lead us to try and “fix” our kids, this will make me feel like a better parent.
Instead of playing or reacting to this story of being a “perfect” parent we can move back into our heart space we find ourselves becoming present to what is happening around us and we become more connected to the people around us. We flow, with what is happening in the moment and we find we can truly listen to what our kids are saying. We simplify our experience with our kids. It’s in those moments we can show our kids love and understanding. We can guide our children through by being curious and asking questions, rather than “preaching” to them around what we think they need to learn.
If we really wondered what would make us a perfect parent, we could reflect back on what we wanted from our parents when we were young. It was really quite simple. We wanted to know we were loved and that they were there for us. Also, that we felt understood. As a parent, all of these things are best done through our heart space. So do our kids need the perfect parent, perfect food, perfect entertainment, perfect learning etc. Or do they just need to know we are there, listening and being authentically ourselves.